Guarantee of Foreplay

B. Hoota   To whom it may concern, To all the boys who fuck me in the future, here is a contract you must fulfill in order to slip your penis into my body. I’m not a sex maniac or an intercourse queen; quite frankly, I’m asexual, aside from spontaneous makeout sessions at Grog. I […]

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The Conundrum of Dropping Acid The Sunday Before Classes With Monday Off

B. Hoota Either I’m incredibly daft or I’m the coolest mother my future children will ever have. Drugs are such a fascinating vice of humans—we know these substances are dangerous and yet we inject, inhale, dissolve, crush, and suck down these elixirs anyways. We’re the most intelligent race in Earth’s history that fucks up our […]

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